


All of me, all of you

by Weisse_Rose



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-27 11:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15023906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weisse_Rose/pseuds/Weisse_Rose
Summary: Takes place after "Boo Normal". And that's really about all I can say without giving too much away.





	1. Chapter 1

_Lucifer snuggled closer to Chloe, burying his head in her hair, closing his eyes. Chloe turned her head to face him, a smile on her lips._

_"I'd never have guessed that the devil is a cuddler", she teased, giving him a soft kiss. Lucifer hummed, deepening the kiss. Chloe turned her body around completely, drawing her arms around him._

_She pulled her head back a little, moving it down to rest it in the crook of his neck. Lucifer started drawing his hand through her hair, and Chloe sighed quietly._

_Lucifer slowly dropped his chin until his head was resting atop of hers, embracing her more tightly. He felt calm, rested, at peace. For the first time in millennia, he felt like he was exactly where he was meant to be._

_They remained like this, neither of them feeling like moving. After a while, Lucifer heard Chloe's breathing become more even, her arms loosening their tight grip around him. She was asleep in his arms._

Lucifer woke with a start, his arm moving over the empty bed beside him, confirming what he aleady knew. He had been dreaming again. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, sighing.

He would have to talk to Linda. This was getting ridiculous. Or maybe he should just stop sleeping altogether. He shook his head, recalling how that had turned out for him last time.

He sat up in bed, suddenly angry. The devil didn't _pine_. Especially when there was no reason to. Things could have gone far worse. Chloe had finally seen the real him, and she'd taken it rather well, all things considered. She hadn't run, or screamed, or had a meltdown. She'd just told him, calmly, that she would need some time to digest this new reality.

They continued working cases together, and at first he thought that everything was fine, that against all odds, she had accepted him. But then every time he suggested to do something outside of work, like a game night, Chloe would shoot him down without fail. 

She started avoiding him more and more, going so far as to drive separately to crime scenes. At some point, he stopped visiting her at the precinct altogether, just going directly to where he needed to be when she called him in.

She was polite and respectful towards him, but he couldn't help but feel shunned. They could be standing next to each other, but it would still feel to him like she was far away, distant, unreachable. He noticed that she made an effort never to be alone with him, always surrounding herself with other people when he was present. 

If he was honest with himself, he was just waiting for the bomb to finally go off, at this point. For her to tell him that she wanted him out of her life, that the real him was too much for her to handle. And she would be right. It would probably be better for her if she never saw him again. If he weren't so weak, he would have walked away himself. 

His phone rang, drawing him out of his reverie. He looked at it and sighed. Another murder, another day of standing right next to the detective without being able to reach out to her. He should let it go to voice mail. She didn't need him to solve cases, she was a great detective. He should set them both free. He sighed again, and picked up the call.


	2. Chapter 2

_Lucifer snuck up on Chloe from behind, drawing his right arm around her, and dropping his chin to her shoulder._

_"Hmmm, pancakes", he said delightedly when he saw what she was preparing._

_Chloe leaned back into his embrace, placing her arm over his. She intertwined their fingers, closing her eyes._

_She smiled. "Check out the toppings. I've got vanilla ice cream, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, chocolate spread, the whole shebang."_

_Lucifer nuzzled her hair. She smelled delightful, of pancakes, ocean and some fruity shampoo. "You're spoiling me", he said softly, stealing a strawberry from the bowl next to the stove with his free hand._

_"I am indeed. You deserve it", she said, the smile still on her lips. He bit into the strawberry and she snatched the remaining half away from him, and ate it._

_"What's the occasion?", Lucifer asked, picking up another strawberry and dunking it into the chocolate spread. He bit into it, revelling in the sweetness._

_"The occasion is that I love you", Chloe said seriously, and Lucifer almost choked on the strawberry in surprise._

Lucifer opened his eyes, groaning. Why wouldn't it stop? He hadn't talked to Linda about it, as he'd promised himself. In the light of day, the whole thing had seemed silly. What was he going to say? Help me, I'm being tormented by dreams of me and the detective doing the most mundane things, like watching _Bones_ and falling asleep on the couch together? 

He'd hoped it was just a weird phase and would stop on it's own, but actually the opposite was happening. The dreams of blissful domesticity crept into his mind every single time he fell asleep now. It was maddening. He awoke several times each night, always remembering everything in excruciating detail. 

The real Chloe was still giving him the cold shoulder. Twice he'd tried to start a conversation with her about what she'd seen, what this meant for them, how they were going to move forward. Chloe had all but fled on both occasions, not giving him a chance to say much of anything. Not that he had any idea what he wanted to say to her. I want things to go back to how they used to be? I want you back in my life? He didn't feel like he had a right to say those things to her.

Maybe he should just be grateful for what he got to have, instead of pining over things that he knew could never be. She still let him be a part of her life, even if it was only her work life. She hadn't told him to go to hell. Maybe she really just needed more time to figure things out. Maybe one day they could be friends again, or even something more.

He shook his head, trying to shake the thought from his mind. There was no point in getting his hopes up. It was dangerous and would only lead to heartbreak. He closed his eyes again, wishing fervently that the dreams would just stop, and he could go on with his life.


	3. Chapter 3

_Lucifer stared at the tiny human in wonder. He had unruly black curls, but his mother's eyes._

__You can't be _, Lucifer thought, looking at him._ You're impossible. __

_As if he had heard his thoughts, the boy stuck his tongue out at him, smiling, like he didn't care whether or not his existence was possible. He probably didn't._

_Chloe knelt down next to them on the big blanket, radiating content happiness. She looked at the two of them with such love in her eyes that it made his heart ache._

_Chloe smiled, reaching out a hand to the baby boy. "Hey there, little man", she said, voice filled with affection. The boy closed his tiny hand around her index finger, grinning at her._

_Trixie appeared behind her mother. "How is he so very tiny when you're so tall?", she inquired, looking at Lucifer._

_Lucifer barely heard her, his attention captivated by the tiny miracle before him. "He's going to be tall someday. Aren't you, little one?"_

Lucifer opened his eyes, grimacing. He picked up the pillow next to him and put it over his head, hitting it with his fist. _Stop it, stop it, stop it._ The guy to his left grumbled in his sleep, jostled by Lucifer's movements. 

He'd picked up the two most attractive men he could find at Lux, in the hopes of finally getting the detective and these nightmares out of his head. It had been a disaster. The whole time, his thoughts kept returning to her, no matter how hard he tried to distract himself.

In the end, the two of them had ended up having sex in his bed, with him barely interested enough to even watch. For some reason, he'd thought that letting them stay in his bed might shield him from the dreams, but no such luck. They continued to invade his sleep. Again and again, he would wake with a hollow sensation in his chest, and a feeling of longing that got more and more difficult to push down.

He lifted the pillow, staring at the ceiling. He would have to do something. He couldn't go on like this, or he would go mad. 


	4. Chapter 4

Lucifer sat in the surveillance van next to Dan and Chloe, feeling uncomfortable. He kept having flashbacks to those damnable dreams every time he looked at the detective, and it was starting to grate on his nerves. He was barely paying attention to Dan, who was running the plan for the sting operation by them one last time.

"-they should have no trouble believing that Lucifer is some arrogant, rich playboy who doesn't know the first thing about poker, and is looking to loose some money-" "Hey", Lucifer protested, having caught the tail end of the sentence. Dan continued as if he hadn't heard him. "-so it should be easy for you to join Vince's table and start up a conversation. Meanwhile, Chloe-"

Lucifer shifted around in the cramped chair, wishing he could get out of the close confines of the van. He'd awoken that morning from a dream that had felt so real that he'd been disoriented for a moment, wondering how he'd ended up alone in his bed. Then reality had come crushing down on him, and for a second he'd forgotten how to breathe. He wasn't fooling himself, things were getting worse and worse.

He realized that Dan had stopped talking and was looking at him expectantly. Whoops. Lucifer cleared his throat.

"Could you run that last part by me again?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "You should have no trouble maintaining your cover since you're basically playing yourself. His buddy said he talks a lot while he's playing so use that to your advantage. If you need to be extracted, say _rollercoaster_. 

Lucifer cocked his head to the side, giving Dan a playful grin. "Is that your safe word?"

Dan sighed, looking as if he was very much over Lucifr's shenanigans, and Lucifer's smile fell. "Right, got it", he said quietly, and exited the van as quickly as possible.

Lucifer had no trouble getting past the bouncer. Not that he ever had. He looked around the smokey interior of the illegal casino, spotting their suspect at one of the tables in the corner. There was an empty chair next to him.

He made his way over there, and sat down. One of the players looked like he was about to argue, but Lucifer dropped a stack of cash on the table, which was met with approving grins from the other men.

He lost hand after hand. To be fair, he wasn't paying any attention to the game whatsoever. He could have given the excuse that he was busy trying to make their suspect talk, but the truth was that his mind was somewhere else. 

The guy was talking about everything from immigration to women's soccer, but Lucifer had yet to extract any valuable information from him. Dan was yapping away in his ear, but Lucifer tuned him out for the most part.

He frowned, wondering how it had come to this. He couldn't honestly say that he was enjoying the work very much at the moment. Maybe it was time he stopped. Maybe-

Chloe appeared out of nowhere, looking absolutely stunning with her hair down for once. She sat down in his lap, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Hey honey. In need of a good luck charm?"

Lucifer just stared at her, utterly speechless. Chloe turned around to the table, starting up a conversation with their suspect. Lucifer tried to recall what Dan had said in the van. Was this part of the plan? Had she said she was going to do this? He couldn't for the life of him remember hearing anything about this.

He snapped out of his thoughts when the guy to his right hit him in the arm. Apparently, it had been his turn for quite some time and he'd just been sitting frozen in place like an idiot. He folded his cards without even looking at them.

He tried to focus on his breathing. _Remember, this is just a sting operation_ , he told himself. He closed his right hand into a tight fist, the knuckles turning white. He'd been about to draw his arm around Chloe, draw her closer to him. _It's not real, it's not real, it's not real. Remember, it's not real._

Chloe turned back to him, giving him a questioning look, clearly picking up on his tension. He made a tiny shake of his head, and she turned around again in order to extract more information from their suspect.

It was getting difficult to breathe. The urge to draw her into an embrace was almost overwhelming, she was so close he could smell her shampoo, in spite of the permeating odor of whiskey and cigarettes in the casino.

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out. He gingerly lifted Chloe from his lap, and bolted from the room. Once outside, he leaned against the brick wall of the building, breathing heavily. 

"What the _hell_ was that?", he heard from next to him shortly after. He turned to find an angry Chloe glaring at him.

Something snapped. "What the hell was that? What the bloody hell were _you_ doing? You barely look at me for weeks, having me worried that you might end our partnership any second, and then you go and- and-" He gestured around helplessly. "-and do that", he finished lamely.

He closed his eyes, regretting his outburst immediately. Now she was going to tell him to go to hell for sure. He waited for what seemed like a long time to him, but was in reality probably less than a minute, not daring to open his eyes and see the rejection in hers.

"You're right. I was out of line", Chloe admitted, and he opened his eyes in surprise. She didn't look angry at all, more chagrined.

"I'm sorry", she added.

"You're sorry?", Lucifer repeated slowly.

"I should have talked to you. It was just- everything was a bit overwhelming, and a bit scary, and it just seemed easier to go back to solving cases for a little while, and then I never build up the courage to actually talk to you."

The courage to tell him to go to hell. He nodded. That made perfect sense. He should have seen it, and left on his own.

"You're scared of me. I get it. You didn't want to make me angry. I'm sorry. I'll go and never bother you again."

He turned around, shoulders slumped, the very picture of defeat.

"What? No! I'm not scared of _you_. It was scary to realize that heaven and hell are real, that hell is an actual place people end up in, that you're _God's_ son."

Lucifer turned back to her, brow furrowed in confusion. "You're not scared of me? Then why were you keeping me at arm's length?"

Chloe lifted up her hands, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know. I guess it was just my naturally suspicious nature. I mean, you're an _archangel_. What could somebody like you possibly want with a run of the mill mortal like me? You must have some hidden agenda." She sounded unsure, as if she didn't believe her own words. "What _do_ you want from me, Lucifer?", she asked seriously.

"What do I _want_? I want us to talk again, for one. I miss talking to you." Lucifer felt like there was a dam inside of him finally breaking down, and he was helpless to stop it. "I want to spend time with you outside of work. I want to spend time with you, period. I want to wake up in the morning, and find you lying next to me. I want to make breakfast for you. I want to know what goes on in your head. I want to be allowed to hold you."

He stopped, biting his tongue to hold back the flow of words. Surely she was going to send him packing now, after he'd admitted what it was he truly wanted. He swallowed, taking a deep breath. He tried to gauge her reaction, but she just remained frozen in place, staring at him.

"I know I don't have any right to want those things from you, but I do. _I do_ ", he added desperately, fighting back tears.

"I'm sor-" He didn't get any further, because Chloe, in one smooth movement, rushed forward, placed her hands on his face, and drew him down towards her into a kiss. He was too surprised to respond.

She pulled back a little, locking eyes with him. There was a certainty in her expression that hadn't been there a minute ago, like she'd been puzzling over something for a long time and finally come to a conclusion.

He stared at her, wondering how she managed to surprise him every time she did this. She knew the truth, she knew everything, and she'd still kissed him again.

"I want all of you", he admitted, voice breaking.

She smiled at that, and he saw that she, too, was fighting tears. 

"Good", she said, and kissed him again.


End file.
